Every so often, someone in a government
position somewhere in the word comes up with a solution to a real-world problem
that is incredibly astonishing.
Most recently, the town council in Brunete , Spain
The town council enlisted the aid of about 20
volunteers to approach dog owners whose pooches left piles on sidewalks or in
the park. The volunteers would then strike up conversations with the pet owners
with the intention of discovering the offending dogs’ names.
With the dog’s name and breed, the volunteers
could then determine the dog owner’s name and address — and this is where this
story gets good. Once the dog owner’s name and address is confirmed, a
volunteer scoops up the offending poop and places it in a box labeled “Lost
Property” with the town hall’s official insignia affixed. Then the volunteer
mails the box of dog poop back to the offending dog owner.
This is brilliant! Don’t be surprised if the
person who thought of this solution gets nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize.
Using the post office to solve a community’s
problems indicates true Renaissance thinking if not total genius. This is a
plan that the first postmaster general himself, Benjamin Franklin, would have
been proud to concoct.
Here are just a few of the ways the postal
service can solve some of our nation’s problems:
The postal service could start by eliminating
the stork. Think of the monetary savings if women no longer had babies in
hospitals and instead, babies could be delivered by the United States Postal
Service.
The post office could be the perfect solution
for nuclear waste disposal as well. Let’s just box up all of our nuclear waste
in Priority Mail flat-rate boxes and ship it to Kim Jong-un in North Korea
The 16,000 new job openings at the IRS to
cover money collection for Obamacare won’t put a dent in unemployment, but the
postal service could easily hire a few million more people to stand around
looking useful. Who would even notice?
The problems of obesity, malnourishment,
starvation and other food-related maladies could easily be solved by closing
all grocery stores and eating establishments and having all food mailed to the
citizenry on a daily basis. This way, the IRS can handle our medical services
and the Post Office can handle nourishment.
Note to reader: The downside is that this
could lead to a bumper sticker saying, “When the Post Office delivers the food,
only postal workers get fat!”
The post office could easily solve the gun
control issue while satisfying every liberal’s desire to finally do something
about gun control no matter how inane by simply passing a law requiring all
criminals or people with criminal intent to mail their weapons to either the
Department of Homeland Security or another law-abiding citizen. Problem solved!
This next problem might be too big for the
postal service, but could easily be solved by enlisting the aid of companies
like FedEx or United Parcel Service. The solution to illegal immigration is simply
boxing up all illegal immigrants (in humane boxes with adequate air holes and
food) and mailing them back home!
Note to reader: Of course with the previous
example, the humane thing to do is mark the box “Fragile” and “This Side Up.”
Terrorists would be long gone with a similar
program, but personally I’d eliminate the air holes and food with a box fit for
a terrorist. Shipping a terrorist back home would also require that we write on
the box, “This package may contain liquid, is very perishable, not fragile and
is definitely potentially hazardous.”
It’s time to use the United States Postal
Service to solve our nation’s problems. Wait a minute, the mail just arrived.
It looks like I have a box marked “Lost Property” from my local post office; it
must be the keys I lost last week! If they can do it in Brunete , Spain
Source : http://www.thespectrum.com
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